From the Heart of Treazure

Fall is my favorite time of year. Each fall, I am always captiva-ted by the beauty that nature displays in the boldness and brightness of the leaves. As I observe the colors of crimson, golden yellow, and burnt orange, I am led to embrace the warm, yet crisp air that accompanies the falling of the leaves. Fall is a time to embrace a season of change, when things fall away in preparation for the next season of rest which prepares us for a season when things begin to bloom. Fall is also football season and many of us look forward to the weekends when we can indulge in high school football on Friday nights, Pop Warner and collegiate games on Saturdays, and the NFL games on Sundays that expand into Monday night football. It is interesting how caught up some of us become in the teams we support as our own. We are happy when our team wins, but we are angry and disappointed when our team experiences a loss; but never the less, we support them to the end (at least for those of us who are die-hard fans).

I often ponder over how marriage is like football, a team sport. As we all know, there is no I in team so that means that each of us has to work together, along with our spouse, for the betterment of the team. God is the owner and Head Coach of each team; the husband and wife in every marriage each has a position as well, as captain and co-captain of the team. If we allow the Head Coach to guide and call each play from His play book (The Holy Bible), then each team can claim a championship!

Find the Jewel in You, See the Gem in Him!

Treazure

From the Heart of Treazure

I was meditating on marriage when the thought and vision of a garden came into my spirit. My mind started drifting to one of my favorite places, Duke Gardens in Durham, North Carolina. I enjoy Duke Gardens because of its serenity, vast selection of flowers, plants and trees, and a breathtaking pond which showcases some of the largest lily pads that I have ever seen. Duke Gardens is several gardens in one and it is easy to escape to a place of tranquility when strolling along this sweetly fragrant maze. When thinking of the Gardens, I think of the amount of hard work, effort and love for horticulture that was put into this beautiful creation.

Marriage is very similar to a garden. You must tend to your marriage with effort, work and love, even when the seasons change and it does not seem like love is in bloom. Ask God to shower your marriage with a kiss from heaven and watch your love garden grow.

Find the Jewel in You, See the Gem in Him!

Treazure

Wife Talk Introduction

Wife Talk is an inspirational column for wives and women who desire to be married. The column reveals some of the challenges that can lead to distress in a marriage while providing simplistic resolutions to encourage marital bliss. Wife Talk is not based upon the advice or guidance of any professional counselors or psychologists; however it derived from the thoughts, opinions and experiences of the blog creator and her close circle of friends and family who have been married between two (2)and forty (40) years. The column is raw and honest as it relates to what’s on the hearts and minds of women in both loving and nurturing marriages as well as abusive marriages while offering a spiritual perspective on each topic. Wife Talk provides a much needed support system for wives who want to connect with other women who share the same commonalities within marriages.

Find the jewel in you, see the gem in him!

Treazure

Heart of Treazure IV

Writing for Wife Talk, Series Three (3) has been a journey of transparency, transformation and truth. As this Series comes to a close, I am led to reflect upon each of the topics that I’ve written about (divorce, abuse, and serving God together). I have grown immensely along this journey both as a wife and as a writer, and I’ve most enjoyed sharing this experience with each of you. I thank God for stretching me beyond measure; and most importantly, for finding me worthy to be used to write for Wife Talk.

The next few weeks will be filled with rest and preparation as I seek God’s guidance on the content for the upcoming Series. In the meantime, I will continue to post weekly “From the Heart of Treazure.” If there are specific topics that you would like for me to write about, email your suggestions to wifetalkblog@yahoo.com. I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

I would like to thank the Invisible Secretary for the hard-work and dedication that has been given for the upkeep of this blog page. I also would like to thank Mrs. B.F. Brown for her commitment to editing the articles that grace the pages of Wife Talk. I would also like to thank each of the Wife Talk readers for logging in each week. It is my prayer that each of you receive exactly what you need from this blog. Last but not least, I could not do this if God did not allow me to be used as His vessel to deliver His message each week so that the Kingdom of God can be glorified.

I would like to give an extra special thanks to my Gem, my husband, “my him” for all of his love and support. As I strive to be as open with the Wife Talk reader as I possibly can about my experiences as a wife, I never want my transparency to place a shadow on your importance or feelings within our marriage. I love you!

As I go before the Lord seeking His purpose, plan and guidance for the next series, I ask that you please be prayerful about all things and pray for your “Gem”, yourself, the blog, and for me and my “Gem.” Again, thank you for being a blessing to Wife Talk.

Find the Jewel in You, See the Gem in Him!

Treazure

Put God First & the Rest Will Follow

1 Peter 3:1-2

3:1 “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

As I ponder over the topic of believers being married to unbelievers, I am led to the vows and responsibilities that each spouse has to the other. Within the marriage, God places the husband over the wife and God is over the husband and the wife. In a situation where the wife is a believer and her husband is not there yet, it can be stressful on the marriage if the wife is trying to fulfill her vow to be obedient and submissive to her husband. I’ve often been challenged by this myself. In this situation, I had to learn that although I want to honor my vows of obedience and submissiveness to my husband; however, as a woman of God, I have to first be obedient and submissive to Christ.

In the beginning of my marriage, God was important in my life, but my husband was the most important person in my life. I was a submissive wife and felt that I was being true to my marriage vows by doing so. All I wanted was to have a blissful marriage and wanted it to remain that way forever. As I began to grow in Christ, the order of who was most important in my life began to change. Now that Christ is the most important person in my life, and then my hubby and our marriage, I am in a better place; I am at peace. At first I didn’t know how this would affect my marriage as my husband has always known his place in my heart and in my life as number one (1). I shared with him about my growth in Christ and that God is now the head of my life. My husband understood this and he is happy for me. There have been moments of tension when I’ve made a choice or a decision that God has led me to make and my husband wasn’t included. I credit this to my husband’s lack of understanding of what it means to allow God to be head of your life. If God placed him as head over me within this marriage and he is not yet at a place where God is the head over his life, then I must be obedient to the Lord first. I know that I am the most important person in my husband’s life and that God is important to him also; he just needs to change the order of who’s most important to him. I believe that this will be accomplished through prayer and by example. I strive daily to be submissive to my husband and do so by being obedient to Christ!

1 Peter 3:1-2

3:1 “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.”

In summary, 1Peter 3:1“When a man became a Christian, he usually would bring his whole family into the church with him (see for example, the story of the conversion of the Philippian jailer in Acts 16:29-33). By contrast, a woman who became a Christian usually came into the church alone. Under Roman law, the husband and father had absolute authority over all members of his household, including his wife. Demanding her rights as a free woman in Christ could endanger her marriage if her husband disapproved. Peter reassured Christian women who were married to unbelievers that they did not need to preach to their husbands. Under the circumstances, their best approach would be one of loving service: they should show their husbands the kind of self-giving love that Christ showed the church. By being exemplary wives, they would please their husbands. At the very least, the men would allow them to continue practicing their “strange” religion. At best, their husbands would join them and become Christians too.”

Scripture quotation and summary are taken from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).

Find the Jewel in You, See the Gem in Him!

Treazure

To Believe, or Not to Believe

1Corinthians 7:12-14

7:12 “To the rest I say this (I not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”

What I want most for my marriage is for my hubby and me to serve the Lord together. This has been my desire and my prayer for many years. When my “him” and I first got married 10 years ago, I didn’t have the relationship with God then that I have with Him now. I have been on the road of spiritual growth for many, many years. As I have and continue to grow, I wish for my husband’s walk to be parallel to mine. I consider myself in the toddler stages and I still need to hold onto the table edge to remain standing as I take steps to draw closer to Christ. I often wonder when and if we will come to a place within our marriage of being equally yoked. When I have these thoughts, I’m always led to continue praying for my husband and our marriage and to allow God to have His way with him.

In Proverbs 31, Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character, my favorite verse is 31: 28 “Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” I often attempt to plant seeds about the Lord and having a relationship with Christ to my husband and many times I’m left feeling as if I didn’t get through to him. This one verse is special to me because it is confirmation of how I want to live my life; as an example. I want my husband to see me living a life of obedience and serving the Lord, so that he’ll want to also. There are times when I become sad, frustrated and drained while witnessing my husband go through trials and tribulations, because I know that things would be easier for him if he would allow God to guide his steps. I have to remember that it’s not my battle, but the Lord’s.

1 Corinthians 7:12-14
7:12 “To the rest I say this (I not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.”

In summary of these verses: 7:12 “Paul’s command about the permanence of marriage (7:10) comes from the Old Testament (Genesis 2:24) and from Jesus (Mark 10:2-12). His suggestion in this verse is based on God’s command, and Paul applies it to the situation the Corinthians were facing. Paul ranked the command above the suggestion because one is an eternal principle while the other is a specific application. Nevertheless, for the people in similar situations, Paul’s suggestion is the best advice they will get. Paul was a man of God, an apostle, and he had the mind of Christ.

7:12-14 “Because of their desire to serve Christ, some people in the Corinthian church thought they ought to divorce their pagan spouses and marry Christians. But Paul affirmed the marriage commitment. God’s ideal is for marriages to stay together-even when one spouse is not a believer. The Christian spouse should try to win the other to Christ. It would be easy to rationalize leaving; however, Paul makes a strong case for staying with the unbelieving spouse and being a positive influence on the marriage. Paul, like Jesus, believed that marriage is permanent (see Mark 10:1-9).

7:14 “The blessings that flow to believers don’t stop there but extend to others. God regards the marriage as “sanctified” (set apart for his use) by the presence of one Christian spouse. The other does not receive salvation automatically, but is helped by this relationship. The children of such a marriage are to be regarded as “holy” (because God’s blessings on the family unit) until they are old enough to decide for themselves.

Scripture Quotation and Summary are taken from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).

If you are a believer and your spouse does not yet believe, it can take its toll on a marriage. If you are planting seeds about the Lord to your spouse and it seems as though nothing is happening, don’t give up. Be consistent! Pray without ceasing and know that God is on your side. Often when we plant seeds, it seems as though it’s in vain, however, a dear cousin of mine stated to me that “sometimes we are not the intended individuals to plant the seeds; we may have been called to cultivate the soil in preparation for the seed to be planted.” Just remember to be the Christian you want to see in your husband, and God will handle the rest.

Find the Jewel in You, See the Gem in Him!

Treazure

From the Heart of Treazure, Part III

I’m astonished as I realize that Wife Talk Series Three (3) is drawing to a close! There are two topics (divorce and abuse) that I have written about thus far; however, I feel like this Series is just beginning. As I am writing this, I’m reflecting on the previously written topics of this Series, and I feel such an immense sense of gratitude that I made it through. Each topic has its own place of importance in my life and in sharing of my thoughts and experiences; I’ve grown in ways that I never imagined possible.

As I prepare to write about the final topic of this Series, “Serving God Together, Believers & Unbelievers”, I am anxious to share the message. If any of the three topics could best describe my long-awaited and most recent desire, this subject matter tops the list. There are a number of wonderful God-fearing women that I am blessed to have as friends and family members who are married and share this same desire for their spouses. I know a few good God-fearing single women who desire a believing spouse as their own. I understand that each of us is exactly where we are meant to be spiritually, and if we are not on the same page with our spouses, it is important to be prayerful and patient. God has a mighty plan in store for each marriage relationship and knowing the details of His plan is not always revealed in our timing, but in His. It is a privilege to know that God may want to use you as a helpmate to assist Him in turning an unbelieving spouse to a “believer.” How awesome would that be?

In discussing “Serving God Together, Believers & Unbelievers,” I will offer suggestions on being patient with an unbelieving spouse, the importance of prayer during the manifestation period, and allowing God to be in control of the situation. I will also answer the last of three (3) questions “Am I the kind of wife that God wants me to be?” that I posed to myself and each of you at the on-set of the Series. My response to this question will be located in the Hidden Treazure section of the blog page. This Series has been a journey of both courage and faith. I thank God for carrying me along the way and for each of you that have become a part of the Wife Talk family!

Find the Jewel in You, See the Gem in Him!

Treazure