Leadership vs. Submission
(Allowing him to lead)

Ephesians 5:22-24

22: Wives, submit to your husbands, as to the Lord.

23: For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

24: Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Well, this is it! I knew that I would have some resistance toward this topic, but it needs to be discussed. So, here goes! Having celebrated my 8 year wedding anniversary this week, I allowed myself to reflect on the past eight years of my life as a married woman. This is an exercise that my husband and I do every anniversary, but we usually just discuss the previous year. Reflecting allows us to share with one another what our challenged areas were from the past year, and how we handled them, as well as the good stuff. We then share with one another our expectations and goals for the upcoming year. This year however; I reflected on the entire eight years. I did this because I am beginning to experience changes in myself that allow me to be a better wife. I am beginning to finally let my guard down when it comes to being a submissive wife.

As I shared with you last week, I don’t do the follow the leader thing to well, being the Scorpio that I am, I’m used to doing the leading. This is very surprising because I was raised in a home where it was quite obvious who ran the show! Yes, I observed my mom being quite the submissive wife, and I could not for the life of me understand why she allowed my father to have such control. Well, now that I am grown, and married, I can honestly say that I understand just why she played her part as the submissive wife, allowing him to take center stage; the lead role. You see, there is a big difference in leading and controlling, so today we will focus on leading. The problem for me, was that I needed to get pass the feeling that leading meant telling me what to do! You see, if my husband says to me, “get off the phone,” then we may have a problem. But, if he says “you need to monitor how much you are talking on the phone because we are going over budget on the phone minutes”; okay, now you see the difference between the two comments. I don’t want to be told what to do, or ordered around as if I am a child. I want to be spoken to and given instruction as a respected individual; my husband’s partner. The second comment is an example of leadership, the first, is an example of control. For most women, I think the hesitation of using the word obey in the vows, and just thinking about a life of being submissive to someone means stripping us of who we are as individuals. Well ladies, let’s take a closer look at the true meaning of submission.

The word submission is defined in the dictionary/concordance, as voluntary yielding to another; accountability. Voluntary surrender is what I choose to call it. You see, Ephesians 5:22-24 says: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” To summarize this, according to the Bible, the man is the spiritual head of the family, and his wife should acknowledge his leadership. But real spiritual leadership involves service. Just as Christ served the disciples, even to the point of washing their feet, so the husband is to serve his wife. A wise and Christ-honoring husband will not take advantage of his leadership role, and a wise and Christ-honoring wife will not try to undermine her husband’s leadership. Either approach causes disunity and friction in marriage.

The way I see it is that husbands and wives are equally submissive, because in marriage, there is only one true leader, and that is the Lord!

P.S. If your husband is controlling rather than leading, take if first to God in prayer, then tell your man about himself!

*Scripture quotations and summary are taken from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV)

Find the jewel in you, see the gem in him!

Treazure

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