When Children are Involved (co-parenting)

Proverbs 1:8

“Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching.”

Parenting has to be the hardest, yet most rewarding job in the world. Yes, I did say job, because that is exactly what it is. It is around the clock, 24/7. It doesn’t matter whether or not you and your spouse have biological children together, or if you have children from previous relationships, it is a hard job! Children are the most special creatures on earth and as parents we have to be mindful at all times, of what they are receiving from us. No matter how unique your family make-up; as parents, we are responsible for our children’s well-being and upbringing. I would like to share with you that no one parent is perfect, and parenting should always be a shared responsibility.

As parents, it is important to note that children are affected by what’s going on around them. If you and your spouse are having discussions, arguments, or even fights (hopefully not), children are absorbing every word, and every action even when you think that they are not paying attention. Our children go through whatever it is that we are going through. I sometimes think that as adults, we forget that our children live our experiences, because they are a part of us. I remember that as a child, whenever my parents would argue, I would always feel frightened, sad, and at fault. Any unkind words that were spoken between my parents, I too felt that, and how could I not? I am a product of both of my parents so whatever was said to be wrong or bad about either one of them, I felt like it was being said about me too. I felt that pain!

Parents should be on the same page when it comes to raising children. Children are very intelligent, and they know how to play the middle. At some point in time, there should be a discussion as to how you want to raise your children. As always, communication is the key. Both you and your spouse should be in the know as to what is going on with your children, to avoid bringing about conflict and confusion. One of the things that I enjoyed when I was growing up (as long as it wasn’t to drawn out), was family forum. This was a weekly family meeting that my parents started in order for us to communicate openly about what was going on in one another’s lives. It gave each of us an opportunity to open up and share; about anything from school events, to disagreements in the home between siblings, and or parents. This is something that I’ve learned to appreciate in my adult years, and something that I now do with my own family. My husband and I have these appointments with one another (not always once a week). We also have these meetings with our boys (we have 3 that don’t live with us), whenever they come over. Everyone has a voice, opinion, and solution (if one is needed) during these meetings. Different things work for different people, so find out what works for you and your family.

Proverbs 1:8 says: Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. To summarize this: Our actions speak louder than our words. This is especially true in the home. Children learn values, morals, and priorities by observing how their parents act and react every day. If parents exhibit a deep reverence for and dependence on God, the children will catch these attitudes. Let them see your reverence for God. Teach them right living by giving worship an important place in your family life and by reading the Bible together.

We are all that our children have, and as parents, we are their first teachers. Remember, that children not only do as we say, they do as we do!

*Scripture quotations and summary are taken from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV)

Find the jewel in you, see the gem in him!

Treazure

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