Spoiled, Selfish, Downright Rude

Ephesians 5:25-33

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love heir wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-30for we are members of his body.

Spoiled, selfish, and downright rude are words used to describe what I’d like to call the “me, me, me, my, my, my, or I, I, I” syndrome. And no, I’m not talking about the me, me, me of the music scale, or the seductive sounds of Johnny Gill in his 1990 hit “My, My, My”. I’m talking about the use of these words within marriages on a daily basis, with not so much of a thought to what is really being said. In particular, I’m focusing on our husband’s ladies, although I’m sure that we too are definitely guilty of this from time to time.

First, I’ll start with spoiled or the “me, me, me” syndrome. The “it’s all about me attitude”. “Can you do this for me,” or the “will you do that for me” talk. Or, the “you don’t have time to do this for me, or that for me? It’s not that we don’t want to do things for our man, but if we can’t (especially right at the moment that it is asked), then it should be understood, not a tantrum thrown or attitude taken. And when we do have the chance to do things like rub his feet, massage his back, give him facials, or iron his clothes then it should definitely be appreciated, and reciprocated from time to time.

Next, selfish or the “my, my, my syndrome (sometimes the word mine is used here). Well, this one can definitely get you heated. You know what I’m talking about-“that’s my car”, “my account”, “this is my house”, or “my mess is being taking care of”; claiming sole ownership of things that they know are ours.

And finally, when the downright rude, or “I, I, I”syndrome kicks in. “I can take care of myself”, “I was doing fine before I met you, and I’ll be fine if you’re gone”, not to mention the “Oh, I can handle that”. Usually when I is used, it comes with the “I’m this, you’re that” attachment, which ultimately places blame.

I’m sure that at some point in time or another, we’ve all fallen victim to these syndromes. However; the point that I’m trying to make, is that when we use the words me, my, or I often enough, it becomes a sign of self-centeredness. And I begin to wonder if our spouses realize that there is no I, me, or my in the words partners, togetherness, oneness, or we; so what’s all the fuss about. I am you, and you are me in the spirit of marriage, and we have to act as such. No one should be made to feel less than the other at no time, but hey; we all fall short from time to time.

Ephesians 5:25-30 says: 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church-30for we are members of his body.

To summarize this, these verses in Ephesians, however, show a high view of marriage. Marriage, for Paul is a holy union, a living symbol, a precious relationship that needs tender, self-sacrificing care. Paul devotes twice as many words to telling husbands to love their wives as to telling wives to submit to their husbands. How should a man love his wife? (1) He should be willing to sacrifice everything for her. (2) He should make her well-being of primary importance. (3) He should care for her as he cares for his own body. No wife needs to fear submitting to a man who treats her this way.

Also, the union of husband and wife merges two persons in such a way that little can affect one without also affecting the other. Oneness in marriage does not mean losing your personality in the personality of the other. Instead, it means caring for your spouse as you care for yourself, learning to anticipate his or her needs, helping the other person become all he or she can be.

*Scripture quotations & summary are taken from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).*

Find the jewel in you, see the gem in him.

Treazure