Choosing Your Battles

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Have you ever had a heated argument with your husband, or significant other that just made you feel like you could explode? You know the kind of argument that leaves you feeling like you’ve exerted too much energy, and for what? You walk around the house, long after it is over; mumbling to yourself, still fussing his behind out, and he doesn’t even know it! After a period of time, you ponder whether it had to go that far in the first place.

We usually think about how things could have been avoided, or played out differently after it is over. The question is do we learn a lesson from our part in it all, or do we continue to do the same thing? There is so much going on in our day to day lives, that it is very easy to get caught off guard by a wrong comment, negative tone, or miscommunication. Any of these things can have an immediate effect and could jumpstart an argument. It doesn’t matter if you are having a disagreement about bills, the children, or your feelings; it is best to choose your battles.

Be aware of the things that can lead to an argument. If you feel yourself getting wound up, take a few deep breaths, this will allow the first wave of emotion to fly right over you. The first wave of emotion is usually anger, so you want to be mindful of what you are angry about. Also, taking a moment before responding can allow you an opportunity to assess the situation. We all know that everything isn’t always as it seems. Communication as we know, works two ways: speaking and listening. If you know that you are absolutely sound in what you are attempting to communicate to your partner, and it is not reaching him, then stand your ground. Now ladies, standing your ground doesn’t necessarily mean with attitude. You can be firm, yet gentle, to get your point across. If things are still going in a different direction than what you had hoped, then be quiet, and choose another time to address the situation; once things have cooled off.

Proverbs 15:1 says: A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

In summary: Have you ever tried to argue in a whisper? It is equally hard to argue with someone who insists on answering gently. On the other hand, a rising voice and harsh words almost always trigger an angry response. To turn away wrath and seek peace, choose gentle words.

Ladies, I’m not suggesting that you act like a wimp, and go easy on the brother all the time, because there are times when your voice needs to be raised a few octaves. Remember, firm yet gentle. Good communication is the key to any successful relationship, and it is definitely a learning process. Learn when it may be necessary to argue, and when to just let things go!

*Scripture quotations and summary are taken from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).

Find the jewel in you, see the gem in him!

Treazure

This column is dedicated to one of my dearest friends, and family member. She supports me in anything I attempt to do! I’m sending a FAT birthday shout out to Nicy 1004.

Happy Birthday Bernice!

Thanks for all you do. Love ya!

Wife Talk will be on hiatus the week of October 11, 2007. We will return with a new column on October 18, 2007.