Trust (independent to dependent)

Proverbs 3:5

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."

I stood standing proudly as a blushing bride on September 25, 1999. It was as if a lid had been taken off a jar, and beautiful butterflies were released. Emotions such as happiness, excitement, love, and anxiousness all spread wings and fluttered in my stomach. What would married life be like? “What things in my life would change?” I asked myself. High hopes of eternal marital bliss embraced me on that day, but it was not long before I had a reality check.

I am a friendly, intelligent, loving, sensitive individual with head strong flare! The Scorpion in me likes to take control of most situations that I encounter. Well, this Scorpion married a Bull, and it didn’t take long for the head butting to begin. It was like we were on the tennis court, but it wasn’t always love. I had met my match! My husband is a handsome, sharp, ambitious, affectionate individual with head strong flare that matches mine. The challenges of learning to live together began to take a toll early on. We would fuss back and forth about anything from me going over the grocery budget, to which place made the most sense to stop by first when going to pay bills. I would think to myself, he has no clue just how expensive it is to shop these days, especially if you purchase healthy food. I would ask him if he wanted to go shopping with me, so he could see for himself. “No,” he would say. “I just want you to stick to the budget.” After being married for 3 months, I decided to evaluate our marriage. Once my evaluation was done, I thought to myself…this is not working out. So, I decided to place our marriage on a 90 day probationary period (without his knowledge)! I wanted to look within to see what was causing me to contribute to the tension.

During the next 3-6 months, we had a few more falling outs, one in particular about the timing of us buying a new car. I was desperate for answers, so I asked myself a question. Why do I get so angry when it is time for us to make a decision? My response was that we hardly discuss things before making a decision. If we talked things out before hand, it would provide each of us the opportunity to share our thoughts and feelings about such matters. I wasn’t content with the answer. After thinking about it some more, I realized that I had issues with my husband having the final say, and there was more; I wasn’t sure that I completely trusted my husband to make decisions on my behalf.

I used to be fire on wheels. I was used to handling my own business. My independence was important to me, and giving it up was definitely not part of the equation. I thought I could be married and independent, wrong answer. God quickly showed me just how dependent I could be. I lost my job. Now, I had to totally rely on my husband. My husband is a good provider, but I wanted to bring home the bacon too; mainly so I could have some say. This began to cause even more challenges.

I started to pray about the situation. I realized that someone was missing in all of this, it was God. I was being self righteous, when I needed to be grateful. I remembered our vows. My husband vowed to provide for me, and I vowed to be his helpmate. We vowed to allow God to be head of our household, the center of marriage. Proverbs 3:5 says: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." To summarize this, it says: Leaning has the sense of putting your whole weight on something, resting on and trusting in that person or thing. When we have an important decision to make, we sometimes feel that we can’t trust anyone--not even God. But God knows what is best for us. He is a better judge of what we want than even we are! We must trust Him completely in every choice we make. We should not omit careful thinking or belittle our God-given ability to reason; but we should not trust our own ideas to the exclusion of all others. We should always be willing to listen to and be corrected by God’s Word and wise counselors. Bring your decisions to God in prayer.

It has been eight years now, and the tit for tat matches have severely decreased. I trust my husband to make wise choices for our family, because I trust that God is guiding his steps.

The Scripture quotations and summary are taken from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV)

This column is dedicated to my husband (my HIM). You are an intelligent, loving man with big dreams. It’s because of you that I dared to dream! We have been through so much over the past years, but we have learned a lot! The other day you said “we are just getting started.” I look forward to a lifetime of gazing into your eyes; seeing a reflection of myself and you gazing into my eyes; seeing a reflection of yourself, each of us looking pass the flaws of the other, to the center where we both shine. You are a precious gift. God used you; to help me, discover ME! I hope He uses me; to help you, discover You!

I Love You!

Forever Yours,

Him-Her

Happy Anniversary!
September 25, 2007

Find the jewel in you, see the gem in him.

Treazure