Holding Grudges

1 Corinthians 13:4-5
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Of course we’ve all been told a million times that it is not good or nice to hold a grudge, but how often do we ignore this advice? It can certainly happen to the best of us, but it is definitely not the best thing to do. Even more importantly, do we even realize that we are doing this, and if so, why? I think that it is natural human nature to hold on to things far longer than what we actually should when we have been wronged. Yes, there are the occasional times when we can just let a situation go, and be fine with it, however; most times it’s not that easy.

I have often battled with holding grudges in the past until I realized that it isn’t healthy to do so. Even when you think that you’ve let go of an issue, it can still resurface if something triggers it. How often have you referred to a past argument or conversation that you had with your spouse in which he said something that hurt your feelings? How many times have you referred back to something that he did that may have hurt you physically, mentally, or emotionally? Do you feel like you must use any and every opportunity to rub these things in his face? If so, you’re holding a grudge! Whatever the source of resentment, did you immediately let it go and decided to forgive, or are you still harboring those feelings of ill will because you haven’t fully processed the situation? It is very important to know exactly where you are with any situation that may be consistently reoccurring.

Holding a grudge towards your spouse can definitely run interference within a blissful marriage. Communicating effectively with your spouse either written or verbally is crucial to getting past any animosity that you may have. What I mean by communicating effectively is that you share with your husband exactly how the action that hurt you really made you feel. Also, if you can, it would be great to explain why it hurt you. If he said something that hurt your feelings, maybe he’s unaware that this happened, or if it was intentional, then he needs to know that that wasn’t cool. We can continue to place blame in a confrontational, attitudinal type of way that allows us to let off a little steam, however; it can cause a cycle of animosity once your spouse starts throwing things in your face about what you’ve done to him. Once you have opened up and shared with your husband how you feel, pray and ask God to assist you with forgiving, and thank Him in advance for not only the power to forgive but to forget as well. Also, ask your partner to bear with you as you go through this process. You don’t want to make him feel bad or uncomfortable; I’m sure he feels bad enough.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says: 4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. In summary: Our society confuses love and lust. Unlike lust, God’s kind of love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations. It is possible to practice this love only if God helps us set aside our own desires and instincts, so that we can give love while expecting nothing in return. Thus the more we become like Christ, the more love we will show to others.

Remember, 1 Corinthians 13:4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It keeps no record of wrongs (my personal favorite). Let the grudges go!

*Scripture quotations and Summary are taken from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).

Find the jewel in you, see the gem in him.

Treazure

How is the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge for Wives coming along? I am finding it quite motivating and inspirational. It is also allowing me to realize a few things about myself. I’m on day 6, 24 more days to go!