Thursday, November 8, 2007

Taking Control (of yourself)

Proverbs 13:3
“He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.”


Yes, I am guilty! As a wife, I feel the need to regulate what’s going on within my marriage. By nature, I believe that women are automatic nurturers, whether we recognize it or not. So, if something is going on with our spouses, we have a tendency to want to fix it. Most often, “fixing” it means, taking control of the situation. It could be that our significant others are stressed about work, finances, friendships, or he could be dealing with personal growth issues, and here we go ready to jump in and resolve the matter. We start by asking questions, and from asking questions, we go to making suggestions and from making suggestions, we get into “what we would do, if it were us”. Well, guess what? It is not us.


You see, everyone goes through things at different times in life. If your spouse has an issue with any of the things listed above, it is not wise to just jump in and take over. The best thing to do is to access the situation, get a feel of what your spouse may need, and pray about it. Make sure that your husband is ready to fill you in on all the details, and further more; make sure that he wants your input. There are times when words just aren’t needed, but listening ears are. Trust that you will be guided to know what to say and when to say it.


It took me quite some time to realize that when issues come up with my husband, praying for him, and then taking matters into my own hands is not the answer. You see, inviting God to come in and heal the situation, and then attempting to do His job by getting in the way, is not right. A dear friend told me once, not that long ago, that I needed to stop worrying about my husband, and focus on me! At first I thought, how could she say that? Doesn’t she know that I love and care for my husband very much, and I want to make sure that he is okay? Well, yes she did know that! The thing is what I needed to know.


God wants us to trust Him with our selves, our husband’s, and our marriages. Once you ask Him for a resolution, be willing to leave it with Him. Focus on God, and not the situation. He will guide you to what it is that you need to be doing for yourself, and in this way, He can work through you to reach others.


Proverbs 13:3 says: “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” In summary: You have not mastered self-control if you do not control what you say. James recognized this truth when he stated, “The tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts” (James 3:5). If you want to be self-controlled, begin with your tongue. Stop and think before you react or speak. If you can control this small but powerful member, you can control the rest of your body.


*Scripture quotations and summary are taken from the Life Application Study Bible (NIV).


Find the jewel in you, see the gem in him.

Treazure


It is winding down to the last two topics for my first series of weekly columns. I would like to say thank you to those who have visited my blog page, and to those that have posted comments. This has truly been an amazing journey of self discovery and faith. God set me out on this course when I had no idea if I could even set sail, but as always, He was there steering me along the way using me as His vessel. The words on this page come not from me, but through me for God is the author of this blog. Each week, the words that you read, are words that I too need to hear. We are all in this together, trying to be the best wives (or future wives) that He has created us to be.


In the month of December, I will be soliciting your help for topics of interest for the upcoming series which will resume in January 2008. Topic suggestions may be sent to the Treazure Chest at wifetalkblog@yahoo.com. I look forward to reading about what you want to discuss.


The Invisible Secretary would like to send a special “Happy Birthday” (11/08) to Treazure. She is a special jewel that has been a godsend in my life.
“Happy Birthday Girl!!!"

Love You Like A Sister,
The Invisible Secretary